~Down

Around this time every year I seem to get a little down. You would think that with the weather being so beautiful it would be hard to get down. But, for me, it is a hard time of the year.

The 25th of this month will be 7 yrs since we lost the twins. I know many of you will say that I should be happy since we have Hudson. Oh, believe me I am...but, I miss the boys. Yes, we did not really have them here with us on earth, but, I did carry them for 5 1/2 mos. Having Hudson makes me think of the many things we missed out on. Hudson has been a true blessing to us and we would not change that for anything in the world. Hudson will always know about his brothers.

April also brings some other things to mind. 5 yrs ago we thought we were pregnant. But when we went to the dr, there was no heart beat. Our log in date for the China adoption was also in April and my papaw passed away 12 yrs ago...(the same date that we lost the twins but 5 yrs earlier). So, needless to say, this is somewhat of a somber month for me.

Speaking of the China adoption...some of you may not know but we pulled our dossier after having Hudson. That was a difficult decision for me but I know it is the best for our family. At the time we started the adoption process we did not think we would be able to have children. And, the wait time was only 12-18 mos...but if we had stayed in the program we would still be waiting.

So, I am trying to stay positive and happy! I have everything I could ever want in life. I have an amazing Husband, a beautiful Son and a wonderful Savior that loves me! What more could a girl ask for?? :)