You are probably rubbing your head right now but let me explain. Five years ago today we lost our twin sons Hayden and Evan to pre term labor. I was 21 1/2 wks pregnant when my water broke. If you have been following us for a while you probably know the story so I will not repeat it. The day we lost our sons we thought that there was no way we would ever make it another day but we have made it 5 years.
Yesterday Matt & I went to the cemetery to place flowers at their grave site. Looking at their grave marker and date made it seem like ages ago but I can still recall the feelings of being in the hospital in utter shock.
Being at the cemetery yesterday with Matt just affirmed my love for him even more. I have loved him from day one but knowing that we have been through something so horrible just let me know that I married the right man. Yes we have our disagreements but every married couple does. I was so glad to know that I had him beside me yesterday and I did not / will not have to celebrate our sons' birthday alone.
Yesterday I also realized how blessed we are with being pregnant with another son. Hudson was truly a surprise and a true blessing. God knew that we would be ok and he gave us this child for a reason. He gave us a second chance. I believe that he is a God of second chances... He loves us and wants the best for us. He has kept me and Hudson healthy through out this pregnancy. He led us to the right Doctors with the help of our specialist.
So today is bitter sweet. We will never forget our first born sons and their little brother will know about them. We are sad that we do not have them with us but we rejoice in the fact that we have Hudson on the way.
**Oh and I am 25 wks today** :)
God gives us only what will help us along the way :*-)
ReplyDelete