5 & 25 =

Loved and Blessed!!!

You are probably rubbing your head right now but let me explain. Five years ago today we lost our twin sons Hayden and Evan to pre term labor. I was 21 1/2 wks pregnant when my water broke. If you have been following us for a while you probably know the story so I will not repeat it. The day we lost our sons we thought that there was no way we would ever make it another day but we have made it 5 years.

Yesterday Matt & I went to the cemetery to place flowers at their grave site. Looking at their grave marker and date made it seem like ages ago but I can still recall the feelings of being in the hospital in utter shock.

Being at the cemetery yesterday with Matt just affirmed my love for him even more. I have loved him from day one but knowing that we have been through something so horrible just let me know that I married the right man. Yes we have our disagreements but every married couple does. I was so glad to know that I had him beside me yesterday and I did not / will not have to celebrate our sons' birthday alone.

Yesterday I also realized how blessed we are with being pregnant with another son. Hudson was truly a surprise and a true blessing. God knew that we would be ok and he gave us this child for a reason. He gave us a second chance. I believe that he is a God of second chances... He loves us and wants the best for us. He has kept me and Hudson healthy through out this pregnancy. He led us to the right Doctors with the help of our specialist.

So today is bitter sweet. We will never forget our first born sons and their little brother will know about them. We are sad that we do not have them with us but we rejoice in the fact that we have Hudson on the way.

**Oh and I am 25 wks today** :)

~6 mos...

Yesterday I reached 6 mos into my pregnancy and everything is going well. I am still going once a week for my shots to help prevent preterm labor.

Last night we met my parents for dinner. It is always great to see them and spend some time with them even if it is only for a few hours. On our way to meet them we stopped by Baby's * Us to look at furniture for the nursery. We found something that we like but the dresser combo was the only piece in the warehouse. I did some more research when we got home and I found another set that I think I like better. So maybe next Saturday we can go to the "other" store to check it out. We did make a purchase last night for the baby. We bought a baby sleep monitor. It is so neat...it will sound an alarm if it does not sense any movement from the baby in 20 sec... Our friends Kim & BC have one and they have said that it works really well. It helps to prevent SIDS...



Well, off to finish cleaning out the nursery. Take care and until next time...

~23 Wks.

Today I am 23 wks. I had my visit with the OB and the Perinatal Dr. on Thursday. Everything went well. I passed my early glucose test and will have to do the test again at 28 wks. I think the finger prick hurts more than getting my shot every week. I have gained 15 lbs since I have become pregnant so I am on track with that. Also, the Dr started measuring my stomach and I measured at 25 wks, so sounds like we may have a big boy on our hands. Matt & I both were almost 9 lbs each at birth - so we shall see. We did get new ultra sound pics on Thursday. Our little buddy loves to have his right hand up by his head. It is just so amazing!!!

Today I think we plan to clean out the room that will be his nursery. That room has been our "catch all" and ironing room for the past 4 1/2 yrs so there is a good bit of stuff that needs to be out of the house... :) I did go shopping last w/e at the outlet mall and purchased him a good bit of clothes. His closet is still pretty empty so I am hoping the get a lot of clothes at his shower.

I hope you all have a wonderful Easter Sunday celebrating the resurrection of our Lord and Savior.

Take care and until next time...

~No Touchie!!!

I found this t-shirt on line last week and wanted to buy it. I want to buy it even more now after what happened last night. Do you remember this post?? Well, the husband to this lady decided to come up to me last night and start rubbing my belly. And NO he did not ask first. He just walked up and said "I haven't rubbed the belly yet and just wanted to" all the while with his hand on my stomach. What gives people the right to just come up to a pregnant woman and start touching their stomach with out asking?!? The funny thing about it was his team mate looked at him and said "What were you thinking? She would not come up to you and start rubbing your stomach!" Plus I think Chuck (team mate) saw the look of AWE on my face... I have been told that it is easy to read my feelings...

Matt said that I just need to consider the source b/c this man is just a touchy type of guy - but still... Matt also said that next time someone does that just gently push their hand away and say something like "Yep, he is still in there". I don't mind my family members and friends touching my stomach but other people...Good Grief!!

Any way - off to finish the laundry... Take care.

~Wk 22...

Well, I have made it to wk 22!! I am so glad. I have started worrying about the nursery, his clothes, etc. I have at the most 18 weeks left and if you think about it that is not a lot of time to get his room ready. Matt and I started looking at color schemes yesterday to get some ideas. I have not been impressed at all about the bedding that is out there. The options for little boys just seems limited to cars, trucks, trains, animals and sports. We/I are not into themes at all. I want a room that he can grow up in. I am thinking of asking one of my sister-in-laws to make his bedding for us. She is a very good seamstress but I just don't want her to feel obligated.

Also, something else that I worry about is his clothing. Of course, just like the bedding there is nothing that cute for little boys without the themes. I went into T*rget the other day and they only had a handful of cute items for boys. I have heard that Gy*mboree is opening up at the Outlet Mall south of us. So, I need to make a trip down to the outlet mall really soon anyway.

I have been worried about his furniture as well. We need to go shopping soon b/c it could take 2-3 mos for the furniture to arrive. That does not leave us enough time to get his room ready. I was up at 730 this morning worrying about all of this...crazy, I know... :)

Also, I have asked my brother's wife to make the cake for my shower. She is SO talented when it comes to cakes. We talked for about 1 hr this morning about the design, colors and flavors... I am so excited... She is going to do a WONDERFUL job...

If anyone out there has any good ideas about shopping for boys clothes please leave me a comment. I need all of the help I can get. Our only 2 nephews are 15 & 8, so their styles don't help... :)

Take care...

~21 wks & Anxiety...

Today begins my 21st week of pregnancy. It is a little exciting mixed in with a little bit of anxiety. Let me explain...

Almost 5 years ago (April 25th) we lost our twin sons to preterm labor at 21 wks 2 days. The month before I had a bladder infection. I won't go into any details but I can tell you that the experience for Matt & I was pure Hell! Matt was so strong for me and then once he realized I was going to make it then he went through his own grieving. The grieving process is an ugly thing. What we went through I would not wish on my worst enemy because it is so horrible. You never think you will ever have to bury your own children - they are supposed to out live you.

So here we are 5 years later and at 21 wks of pregnancy. I feel really good about this pregnancy. Especially since I go every week for a progesterone shot and then every other week they will check my cervix. Poor Matt...Thursday night I kept moving around and could not get comfy on the couch and I kept sighing. Every time I would move or sigh he would ask me if I was OK. I know in the back of his mind he is just as anxious as I am.

So this week, if you think about it, please keep us and the baby in your prayers. I know that God has his hand on this pregnancy and the baby. He gave us this child... I am not sure if I had shared this before but I had a dream about 2 mos before I got pregnant. My Grandfather and Matt's Aunt visited me in my dream and they told us that they had a little baby BOY for us that we needed to come and get right away. Remember that my Grandfather and Matt's Aunt have both passed away. So, after my dream I woke up and prayed to God that if this was true to please make this happen. I thought that it meant for us to adopt a little boy with Special Needs but we all know how the story ends... I think God gave me that dream to let us know that everything will be ok and will work out. And the cherry on the top was when we found out that we are having a little boy!!! :)

So, please keep us in your prayers...we would greatly appreciate it. :)

Until next time, take care!!

~It's A...

Today I had my 20 wk ultrasound and we found out that we are having a little BOY!! There was no mistaking that either...he is very proud of himself. :) Everything looked great along with the fluid and my cervix. With my history of preterm labor, the doctor wants me to come back every week for a progesterone shot and then every other week to check my cervix. This is all a precautionary measure - nothing to be concerned with. Matt and I will do whatever we have to do to keep from having the same outcome as last time.

We were so excited to see the baby and to hear that everything we perfect. I started receiving text messages last night asking what we were having. One of our nieces (Grayson) sent me a text from school. I made sure to tell her that we would let her know but she needed to concentrate on school. The kids are all so excited because we have not had a new baby on Matt's side of the family in almost 11 yrs.

Well, we are about to leave to meet 2 of Matt's sisters for dinner. But I wanted to make sure to let everybody know our good news!!! Take care...